Feb 20, 2009

If it was a committee of strippers, maybe he'd stand a chance.

- Just in time to soothe America's gastronomic woes: Kid Rock beer.

- At this point, all the jelly doughnuts in the world can't save Saturn.

- Just as Facebook hits the fogey zeitgeist and millions of grown-ups are left scratching their heads, Morford comes up with the perfect solution.

- Elmo gets his perv on.

- Muzak files for bankruptcy, dental hygienists and elevator operators forced to stop sleeping on the job.

- Joel Stein neatly sums up my objection to Facebook: "We have erased the distinction between a note left on the counter and a publishable work. We are blasting our notes to everyone we know and everyone they know, until we're just demographic slivers who know nothing except when we're each going to bed. We've used the world's most impressive technology to provide an entertainment last enjoyed by the Waltons."

- Putting a new spin on Atlanta traffic: 120 soda options will soon appear at your local grease trough.

- Come on, CERN - get crackin'.

- Praise be to dog.

ETA: ::dancing around in total agreement with yet another Facebook hit::

"Facebook status updates are the literary equivalent of inane cell-phone chatter, like when you're on Amtrak and the man in front of you can't stop talking loudly on his Bluetooth for one second, so you're stuck sitting behind him and have to listen to stuff like: "Hi, honey, I'm on Amtrak now. I'm sitting in my seat now. I'm taking off my coat now."

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